BFF retail code

When BFF's living on opposite sides of the country get together, there is always some retail reunion involved.

Here in HHI, not only do we have an Off 5th, we have two, that's right, TWO outlet malls.

Let me just say, we do not have the stamina we did as younger women.

Nor do we actually need anything.

We didn't even get to the second outlet mall.

But shopping is a time of communion and reconnection. Of trying on clothes you know you won't actually buy. Of celebrating the $1 cami and $3 spring coat for your granddaughter at Marshall's.

And it develops language skills at a time when language often eludes us. We are at an age when we have perfect memory but imperfect recall. We know we will think of the word/name/place....it's just not there now.

The skills we have developed are a "shorthand" of sorts.

Does anyone even use the term "shorthand" anymore? I bet my granddaughter doesn't even know what it is.

Anyway, in our shopping forays we find ourselves in the fitting rooms, exchanging comments on what we're trying on:

No, this doesn't work. Too much RQ.

This would be perfect except for the CF.

Nope, NG.

Translation:

RQ is "roll quotient" or as more commonly heard, "muffin top."

CF is "cleavage factor" which, for us, is used as a negative. If you're not comfortable bending over, forget it.

NG is just plain "no good."

Actually, it occurs to me that we are using verbal text messaging. Sounds like something two women of a certain age would do............