Are you smarter than a 1st grader?

I received this in an email from my BFF and don't know the original source, but it's a good way to start your week with a laugh.

A 1st grade school teacher had twenty-six students in her class. She presented each child in her classroom the 1st half of a well-known saying and asked them to come up with the remainder.

Their insights may surprise you. While reading, keep in mind that these are first-graders, 6-year-olds, because the last one is a classic!


1. Don't change horses until they stop running.


2. Strike while the bug is close.


3. It's always darkest before Daylight Saving Time.


4. Never underestimate the power of termites.


5. You can lead a horse to water but How?


6. Don't bite the hand that looks dirty.


7. No news is impossible


8. A miss is as good as a Mr.


9. You can't teach an old dog new Math


10. If you lie down with dogs, you'll stink in the morning.


11. Love all, trust Me.


12. The pen is mightier than the pigs.


13. An idle mind is the best way to relax.


14. Where there's smoke there's pollution.


15. Happy the bride who gets all the presents.


16. A penny saved is not much.


17. Two's company, three's the Musketeers.


18. Don't put off till tomorrow what you put on to go to bed.


19. Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and You have to blow your nose.


20. There are none so blind as Stevie Wonder.


21. Children should be seen and not spanked or grounded.


22. If at first you don't succeed get new batteries.


23. You get out of something only what you See in the picture on the box


24. When the blind lead the blind get out of the way.


25. A bird in the hand is going to poop on you.


26. Better late than Pregnant

Renovations and Potty Training

 
This post is dedicated to Michelle at Scribbit who is coping with a major home renovation. She shared her construction woes last Thursday.
 
Long, long ago, the fall my first boys were 4 years old and 4 months old, we undertook a major house renovation/addition that included the demolition of one end of the existing farmhouse - that would be the part with the kitchen, our bedroom and the only bathroom.
 
You can immediately see the problem.
 
We set up our kitchen appliances and a sink at one end of the dining room. I slept on the living room couch; the baby's crib was set up in the corner and a makeshift closet sat in front of the fireplace. My husband shared twin beds with our 4 year old in one upstairs bedroom and my FIL stayed undisturbed in his bedroom across the hall.
 
We ran plumbing to the upstairs hall for a bathtub. But no toilet...this was supposed to be a 4 month project and my husband decided we could manage with a port-a-potty.
 
Right. He had an office to go to. An office with a real bathroom.
 
Fall in Canada turns cold. Very cold. Finally my husband conceded that perhaps we should have an indoor toilet so one was installed next to the bathtub in the upstairs hall. All was discreetly hidden behind an old fashioned indoor drying rack draped with my old college bedspread - think Pier 1 indian print cotton. No door. Not even a floor to ceiling partition. But I was not complaining. No more trips outside!
 
The original plan was to have this renovation completed by year end. HA! Fifteen months later we moved into a still not completed addition. But I needed a bed. and a kitchen. and a real bathroom. I could deal with contractors underfoot for a few more months.
 
All this is background information to prepare you for what happened next.
 
My 4 year old was a very, very sound sleeper. He had difficulty waking in the night to go to the bathroom (hey, we didn't even have one for months!) and there were often wet sheets come morning.
 
Did I mention I had no kitchen? No washer? No dryer?
 
You'll recall that my son shared a bedroom with his father. Now his father was not a patient man. He did not tolerate "accidents" but, bless his soul, he got our son up every night and walked him out of the bedroom, turning left in the hall and down to the little bathroom. Please appreciate that our son remained "asleep" through all of this, never even opening his eyes. But the weeks and months of repetition taught him to get up during the night and get himself to the bathroom.
 
Fastforward 15 months and we are living in the new addition. Imagine, if you will, a floorplan with a central hall that is open two stories. It's late at night and I am reading in a room downstairs, adjacent to the hall. I become aware of the sound of water. In the hall? Was something leaking? My washer? My dishwasher?
 
I step out into the hall to investigate. I look up and there is my sweet 5 year old standing at the upstairs railing, eyes closed, a Niagara Falls of pee streaming onto the hall floor below. Of course, he thought he was at the toilet he was trained to find in the night! But this wasn't the other house and there was no toilet! He finished his business, turned around and went back to bed.
 
At least his nocturnal journey didn't take him to a corner where he might pee on the wall and new carpet.
 
And, in case you're wondering, this was an isolated incident. He quickly learned where to find the new bathroom!
 

An OCD Toddler?

 
My first two sons are exact opposites. I clued into this fact when M was very young. Everything his older brother was, M was not.

W was colicky
M was an easy feeder and good sleeper

W loved food, all food
M loved cereal and fruit...only

W was outgoing and gregarious
M was painfully shy and reticent

W self weaned at 15 months
M was still nursing at 2.5 years. I had to leave town.

W loved language
M loved math

W could make a mess and ignore it for days
M was a little OCD. He lined up all the family shoes in a neat row...daily

You get my drift. My point is that once I understood this dynamic, it made #2 son very predictable. Usually. I really should have known....

About the time my third son was born (M would have been 33 months) I noticed that my HUGE carton of sanitary pads had been opened. Not only had it been opened, MOST of the pads were missing. Seeing as I was the only female in the house, I just knew something strange was going on. I looked in the bedrooms. I looked in the bathrooms. I looked outside (yes, even outside) Nothing! There was nothing!

I broke down and asked M. Holding up one of the few remaining pads I said, "Do you know where the rest of these are?" Big grin. You cannot be angry at a grinning toddler. "Can you show Mommy?"

Off he runs to his bedroom and flings open the closet doors. There, neatly aligned in rows like little soldiers were my pads stuck to the back wall of his closet. He was so proud of his work. So nice and neatly organized. He had obviously put in a great deal of effort here: multiple trips between my bathroom and his closet, peeling off each sticky strip and arranging them all in straight rows. He had done a mighty fine job although I'm not sure what exactly he thought he was doing!

He had made his very own padded cell.
 

Thursday Thirteen

 
Thirteen things your children need to hear you say. Some are obvious, some not so easy, all are important.
 
1. I love you
 
2. God loves you
 
3. I'm proud of you
 
4. You can do it
 
5. Don't give up
 
6. Please
 
7. Thank you
 
8. Pardon me (banish "huh" - just my litle pet peeve!)
 
9. I need a hug
 
10. What do you think you should do?
 
11. You're a good person
 
12. I'm sorry
 
13. No
 
What would you add to the list?