checking in.....

It has been a while since I last posted. "Thank you" to those of you who missed me and asked if everything was ok.

It is.

I just made a decision (perhaps unconsciously) to be more present in the moment.

I could spend hours a day on the computer, justifying this time knowing my husband, too, was on his computer...playing solitaire.

But we were living separate lives, not connecting, even if we were in the same room.

He would call out, "I love you!"

I would respond, "I love you too!"

He would repeat, "I LOVE you!"

I would respond, "I LOVE you too!"

and this would continue until I made eye contact and said, "I REALLY LOVE YOU!"

Then he would smile and say, "That's what I wanted!"

You see, it's not what we necessarily say...or hear...it's that moment of connection that requires us to be PRESENT.

So I'm spending more time being present...not just being there....and less time at the computer, being somewhere else.

Being there for Him.

Being there for my husband.

Being there for myself.

I will certainly post again. Being present doesn't stop the ideas swirling around in my head. Ideas that have no other outlet than right here.

We are in a season that demands some major adjustments. Maybe that is why I sense the need to be present right now.

For whatever reason, that may be more clear as time passes, I choose to be right here, right now.

My blogging life will have to get in line.

It's been 5 years

Today we celebrate our 5th anniversary.

Five years ago yesterday we had a normal day at the office. A went to the aquatic center and swam 35 laps. We went out for dinner and spent a quiet night at home. A totally unremarkable day.

But all that was about to change.

And our life would never be the same.

Around 2:00 AM on April 7th, I awoke to my husband thrashing around in bed. My first thought was that he was just trying to get comfortable.

But the thrashing continued.

I asked, "Are you ok?"

No response

I asked again.

Still no response.

I turned on the bedside light. A looked at me but would not speak. This was all very confusing. Was he having a dream? Was he disoriented? Was he teasing me?

"A, stop it! What's wrong?"

No response

"Speak to me or I'm calling 911!"

He didn't.

I did.

Within minutes the bedroom was filled with EMT's, police and local volunteer firemen. The room was hardly big enough to hold everyone who responded. The preliminary diagnosis was "cerebral accident" better known as stroke.

We were taken to the nearest hospital at their recommendation even though there is a stroke center within a 45 minute drive. If this were ever to happen again, I would insist that he be taken to the stroke center. However, when in shock one tends to accept what the official protocol. Once at the ER, a CT scan was taken to determine if the stroke was caused by bleeding or a blockage. The test results did not show any bleeding in his brain but because the stroke happened while A slept, we had no idea when it actually occurred. The miracle clot busting drugs, which have a very limited window of opportunity to be administered, could not be used.

After all the testing it was determined that A had an occluded carotid artery which was blocking blood flow to his brain. The medical protocol for someonw with A's medical history is to have a carotid doppler every 5 years. A was only 4 years into that span; had he been given the test, the occlusion would have been discovered, treated and the stroke prevented. Although the artery was later cleared, the damage was done, much of it irreversible.

A spent a week in the hospital and then transferred to a rehab center where he spent another 6 weeks in physical, occupational and speech therapy, followed by continued therapy at home and then outpatient speech therapy at a local college for 2 years. Today A can walk and has become quite adept at using only his left hand. He can speak although he continues to suffer from both apraxia and aphasia, speech disabilities which can make verbal communication chaallenging at best, difficult most of the time and impossible on occasion.

To say our life has changed is an understatement. Nothing is the same. Absolutely nothing, from work to finances to mobility to safety...it just affects everything.

But today we are 5 years post stroke. That is a good thing, a very good thing in light of his medical history.

And we have each other, our family and our faith. Although the future is uncertain, as it is for so many families right now, we do not dwell on what has been lost or what might have been. We choose to focus on what we do have and are thankful for these past 5 years that we have been able to share together.

Project: family picture

We wanted to get a picture of Daddy's Daddy (aka Grandpa), Daddy and the grandbabies.

Thought we'd get Baby Luc settled first.

"Hello, Daddy's Daddy!"

oops...didn't want the flash...



Brought in big brother Tai.

Baby Luc is not happy.

Tai says,"I'm not the problem; it's Baby Luc!"

Project postponed.

Happy Birthday, Daddy

 

 
October 28, 1916 - October 17, 1995
 

Family Ancestry

No, this is not a treatise on evolutionism. My family is not descended from King Kong.

Well, not exactly.

My maiden name was Schoedsack. Now that probably means absolutely nothing to you, unless you are a major classic movie buff. Specifically a fan of the original King Kong.

If you look very closely down in the lower right hand corner, you will see...



Yep. "A Cooper-Schoedsack production."

That would be my great uncle, my father's uncle, my grandfather's brother: Ernest Beaumont Schoedsack. The story goes that my grandfather got his younger brother his first job in the film industry in 1914. He was stationed in France in the first World War as a newsreel cameraman in the Signal Corps. He later worked in Polish war relief efforts to assist Polish refugees fleeing from the Bolsheviks. In 1925 he flmed Grass, a forerunner of the documentary travelogue which followed the migration of Bakktiari tribes in Persia as they crossed the Zardeh Kuh mountains to find grazing land for their sheep and cattle. King Kong was released in 1933. Ernest Schoedsack was known as an adventurer and judging from other postcards I found, I think my grandfather was as well. Could be a bit of an understatement!

If anyone reading this has been following my Flashback Friday posts here, here and here, you will recall that I have unearthed a case of old family pictures. Among these treasures are photographs, postcards and other memorabilia that I will be sharing in future posts. But I thought I would share King Kong today. And this postcard to my father from his Uncle Ernest. The date is unknown but the message is priceless!




In case you can't decipher the handwriting, it reads:

Saigon, Indo-China
September 17th

I'm over here looking for tigers and wild elephants but expect to return to Siam in three weeks. Going up into the jungle tomorrow. Your Uncle E.

There is no year on the card nor can I make out the postmark, but it doesn't really matter. Wouldn't you just love to get a card like that in the mail!
 

Flashback Friday #4

 
Since I have posted photos of my parents when they were younger and of my mother as a child, I searched through the storage bin for the envelope of old photos of my father's family. I really liked this one, taken at the beach in 1919. The little boy is my Daddy. He would have been around two and a half. His mother is second from the left and his father is on the far right. I don't know who the other three are but I like the attitude of the woman in the center!
 

 
This is the same photo after someone artfully applied some color. Can't say how accurate the colors are to true life but I do know that my Daddy had red hair just that shade!
 
I love the tent...and the cars! Would you wear a swimsuit like that? (I think I probably should!)
 



 

Check out Mommy Always Wins for more Flashback Friday participants!
 

Flashback Friday #3

 
These are pictures of my Mother and her brother Phil. He was born in 1921 and although the photos were not dated, I would guess that these were taken that same year: late summer/early fall at the beach, winter (that would be a California winter..no snow!) in the driveway and spring/summer of 1922 in the garden.
 
I love the wicker stroller and my mom's little trike. And how about those BIG hair bows! The two of them fit perfectly in the wicker rocking chair!
 

 

 

 
 

The Facts of Life

 
"MOMMY! COME QUICK!"
 
Three words that can strike fear into the heart of any mother.
 
"What's wrong?"
 
"Bess and Mac are frozen together! You have to help them!"
 
Okay, I could breathe a sigh of relief. Bess and Mac were the barn dogs. And I seriously doubted that they were frozen together. A glimmer of what might have happened began to form in the recesses of my mind.
 
"Don't worry, Sweetie. I'm sure they're fine."
 
"No, Mommy! They're really stuck! You have to help them!"
 
We ran out to the barn. It was an icy cold March day and I could understand how my 5year old would think the dogs could be frozen together. Indeed, even I marveled at what I saw before me. By this time I knew exactly what had transpired, but not actually having witnessed the deed before, did not know that the male could complete his act, dismount and then swivel around so that the hind quarters of both animals would remained attached with their heads facing in opposite directions! A remarkable feat!
 
The boys looked to me to remedy the situation. Since they were convinced this was a weather related predicament, I doubted that they had seen the mating dance that would have come before. So I decided not to launch into the birds and the bees lesson. They just needed to know that everyone would be alright.
 
"I think they'll be just fine. They're not really frozen. We'll just give them a few minutes."
 
The air was heavy with worry and anticipation as the boys waited silently. The dogs looked at us with baleflul expressions, asking for a little privacy, please!
 
Suddenly they disengaged! Mac stood there, proudly displaying his swollen dog-manhood for all to see. Even I was surprised at this revelation.
 
"OH NO! LOOK WHAT SHE DID TO HIM!" my 9 year old screamed.
 
I didn't want to minimize this important life lesson by laughing, but it was hard not to. I knew full well that Mac was not suffering...I think I saw him grinning, as a matter of fact. But my sons were obviously not associating this tableau with either pleasure or procreation. There was a lot of information to absorb here.
 
"Don't worry, Mac is not hurting. He'll be fine in just a minute. He just gave Bess some puppies."
 
The mood in the barn visibly brightened,"Puppies?! Really?!"
 
And, of course, Mac was fine. I guess it's a guy thing that the boys would be concerned only for Mac. I wonder if I had daughters and they had witnessed the same thing, would they have been so concerned for Mac or would I have heard,"Oh No! What did he to do her!?"
 
 

Flashback Friday

 
I stumbled upon a treasure trove of family photos this week and I'll be sharing them every Friday in the weeks to come.
 
My mother's birthday was September 4th. She would have been 89. This first photo was taken in 1937 when she was 18, a senior at Hollywood High School.
 

 
The second photo is my mother in 1944 at age 25. Quite the transformation from high school senior to career woman! The Depression hit the family quite hard (my grandfather was a banker) and unable to afford college, my mother entered the work force in the typing pool of a major insurance company. She was promoted through the years and at this point in time was the executive secretary to the president.
 

 
She told me there was a "hairpiece" that she pinned under her hair to create that big roll on top. She was always fond of red lipstick and nail polish and I do remember those pearls!
 

Wordless Wednesday: Me and Mine

 

 Me and my three sons...but can you guess when it was taken?